I tend to have a big to-do list every weekend.

I’m usually too ambitious and want to clean every square inch of the house, try a bunch of new experiments in the kitchen – oh and then deep clean the kitchen after that, and have a little family time too.

And, most weekends… I get a little overwhelmed with the size of the list.

Sometimes I sit and stare at it, unsure where to begin.

It keeps happening though – as if I’m meant to learn the same lesson over and over until it sticks:

“Oh right, weekends are supposed to be enjoyable.”

Each weekend rolls around and I’m doing the same thing, just hoping for a different result.

It’s magical thinking.

Now, the list of chores and to-do’s will always be long – because there’s always more to do. The list is never truly finished. That part’s somewhat out of my control. It’s just sort of what it means to own and maintain a home.

So, that means at least three other variables – that are within my control – need to change:

1. Mindset:

The way I think about the situation.

The story I tell myself that “I have to” do something puts pressure on me that’s unnecessary. Instead, I need to flip that story into “I get to” do something.

The “have to” lens makes maintaining the home a source of frenetic worry.

But through the “get to” lens, I have an opportunity to find the stillness in it.

In my experience, this accounts for about ~90% of all my problems.

How we think can either limit or expand our options.

2. Prioritization:

Tackling the most important things first.

It’s up to me to name what’s essential and what’s not.

I’m trying to get back to identifying the top 3 tasks and then viewing everything else as a bonus.

If it gets done, great! If not, well, I’m still working on letting go.

3. Action:

The steps that lead to feeling stuck or like I’m making progress.

The actions I have been taking haven’t been in the real world – they’ve been in my head.

I think about the list, and I think some more, and maybe I reorder it, and continue to think about it.

At some point, the overthinking has to stop and action in the real world has to start. But, I’ve found that’s not enough.

If I let my mind drift to the next task, action just doesn’t pack the same stress-relieving punch that it otherwise could.

The trick is to stay present – your mind in the same place as your body, focused on the thing in front of you, finding flow in it.

Notice the variables I want to change are not about the situation itself. They’re about how I am choosing to approach the situation.

These are lessons that apply to any endeavor, whether it’s cleaning your space, tackling a big project, school work, writing a book, or parenting your kids each day.

Skip the magical thinking – start with yourself and what you are bringing to the situation.

Take a moment to pause & reflect. What are the “have to’s” in your life right now? ​ What are you doing (or not doing) as a result of that story?

Actions, experiments, & things to try next. Swap my story above with your own and name the parts of your situation that are unlikely to change magically. Then, think through the variables you can change: mindset, prioritization, and action. Now, what needs to change going forward?

📫 If this sparked an idea, or if you’re feeling stuck, I’d love to hear from you. You can reply directly to this email to share what you’re working on, ask a question, or suggest topics you’d like me to cover in future newsletters. I read every response.

Until next time,

Michael

Michael Schefman | 321 Liftoff​

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